By Lindsey Caplan, Counsellor at Wigan & Leigh Hospice
For many, Christmas is a season of joy and celebration. But for those who are grieving, it can be one of the hardest times of the year. When we lose someone we love, it isn’t just their presence we miss – it’s the experiences we shared with them.
The festive season can feel overwhelming because the world around us seems to be celebrating. Shops are filled with music, social media is full of smiling faces, and the pressure to be “merry and bright” is everywhere. Yet grief doesn’t follow the calendar. Even when surrounded by family and friends, we may feel intense loneliness and pain.
It’s important to recognise that these feelings are normal. Grief is not something we “get over” – it’s something we learn to live with. At Christmastime, it’s okay to focus on what you need in order to cope. You may not feel like writing cards, wrapping gifts, or attending parties. That’s understandable.
Instead, you might choose to spend time quietly – visiting places that were special to your loved one, lighting a candle in their memory, listening to music that comforts you, or simply being with people who allow you to be yourself. Small rituals like these can bring meaning and connection, even in the midst of loss.
Supporting others
If you know someone who is grieving, remember that everyone is different. Some want to talk about their loved one often, while others find it too painful. A simple acknowledgement – “I know this must be a difficult time” – can mean a lot. Ask how you can support them, listen carefully, and reflect back what they’ve said to show you are truly hearing them. Avoid shifting the focus to your own experiences, and instead offer practical help, whether that’s shopping, childcare, or simply being present.
When supporting a grieving child, talk openly about the person who has died, acknowledge their feelings, and involve them in creating new traditions. Maintaining familiar routines can help them feel secure.
How Wigan & Leigh Hospice can help
For families whose loved ones have been cared for by the hospice, our support continues beyond the patient. We provide a Bereavement Support Pack with self‑help resources, and our counsellors run Understanding Your Grief sessions to explore emotions and wellbeing.
Our Walk and Talk group combines gentle exercise with shared conversation, while Bereavement Coffee Mornings offer a safe space to meet others experiencing loss. For children, A Day to Remember provides creative activities and discussion in a supportive environment.
We hold remembrance events throughout the year, including our annual ‘Light for a Life’ celebration, where families dedicate a light in memory of someone special.
All services are accessible by contacting our Community Clinical Secretaries on: 01942 525 566 or emailing: Wlhospice.admin@nhs.net.
Christmas can be a painful reminder of absence, but it can also be a time to find new ways of connection, remembrance, and support. At Wigan & Leigh Hospice, we are here for families as well as patients – helping you navigate grief with compassion and care.
If you need somebody to talk to, please contact The Samaritans, for free, on 116 123.
Note: This article was originally published on the Wigan Today website, on Monday 8 December 2025.