Annette and her husband, Denis, have been together for more than 50 years – a partnership built on love, humour, and supporting each other through everything life brought their way.
When Denis began showing subtle health changes around five years ago, neither of them realised they were at the start of a long journey. Even with Annette’s 40 years of nursing experience, she had never heard of PSP (Progressive Supranuclear Palsy), and the lack of understanding around the condition left them feeling uncertain and alone.
As Denis’s health gradually declined, the couple faced increasing challenges at home. Hospital admissions became more frequent, and each time Denis returned home weaker than before. Annette describes those years as “just trying to cope,” without knowing what support was available or what the future might look like.
Everything changed when they were referred to the hospice.
Finding the right support
Annette remembers the first visit from Katie, their Hospice Nurse Specialist, as a turning point.
“Meeting Katie was such a relief,” she said. “She pointed us in the right direction for so many things.”
Upon meeting Katie, Annette felt truly listened to. Katie helped them understand PSP, to arrange practical support, and she guided them through conversations they had never known they needed to have.
Annette describes the hospice team as calm, reassuring, and always willing to take the time to explain things clearly.
“The support you get as a carer, as a family member… I think it’s brilliant,” Annette said.
Planning ahead
One of the most significant steps for the couple was completing an Advance Care Plan. With Katie’s help, Denis was able to express his wishes clearly and confidently.
“The best thing we did was getting the Advance Care Plan done,” explains Annette. “Everything was documented. It’s taken everything off me – I don’t have to think about it.”
For Denis, the plan meant control. For Annette, it meant relief.
“He said, ‘I want to follow my plan.’ That was his decision, not mine – and that matters.”
Together, they also made funeral plans – something Annette says has lifted a huge emotional weight.
The importance of early conversations
Looking back, Annette wishes they had known about the hospice sooner.
“Every time he went into hospital he came out worse,” she said. “If we’d known earlier that we could have made an Advance Care Plan then he might have had more time doing the things he enjoyed.”
Annette believes Denis missed out on opportunities simply because they didn’t know what support was available.
“He missed out when he could have had more time to do things he enjoyed doing.”
Love, caring and what matters most
Caring for Denis is demanding, and Annette is honest about the emotional toll.
“When you’re a carer, people come and go – but you’re still left, all day, every day.”
Yet despite the challenges, her love for Denis is unwavering.
“Even though it’s hard, I wouldn’t change it. I wouldn’t have him anywhere else but here with me.”
They continue to make memories together – looking through old photographs, watching videos, and cherishing the moments they can still share.
“He’s loved by everybody… he was always smiling.”
For Annette, the hospice has been more than a service – it has been a source of understanding, reassurance, and it’s helped to give her the confidence to face the future with honesty and compassion.