By Anna Haslam, Community and Wellbeing Services Manager, at Wigan & Leigh Hospice
Caring for someone you love can be one of the most meaningful things you ever do – but it can also be one of the hardest. Many unpaid or informal carers tell us they didn’t realise how demanding it would feel until they were in the middle of it.
At Wigan & Leigh Hospice, we see every day how much carers give. We also see how often they put themselves last.
The hidden challenges carers face
Loneliness and isolation are incredibly common. When you’re supporting someone round the clock, it can feel as though the rest of the world has quietly moved on without you. Many carers also describe a shift in identity – becoming “the carer” rather than a partner, child, or friend.
Fatigue is another major issue. Broken sleep, constant vigilance, and the emotional weight of illness take their toll. Carers who are becoming overwhelmed may appear withdrawn, tearful, short‑tempered, or physically run down.
Why carers put themselves last
Most carers prioritise their loved one’s wellbeing above everything else. Many feel guilty taking even a few minutes for themselves. But as we often remind people, you can’t pour from an empty cup. The “oxygen mask” analogy is one we use frequently: you must look after yourself first in order to care for someone else safely and sustainably.
Small habits that make a big difference
Self-care doesn’t have to mean big changes or long breaks. Even small, realistic habits can protect your physical and emotional wellbeing. Here are some things that may help:
- Keep a simple routine – going to bed and waking at the same time can support better sleep.
- Eat regularly – balanced meals help maintain energy.
- Take short moments of calm – mindfulness exercises like the 5‑4‑3‑2‑1 grounding technique can help you reset in just a few minutes.
- Do one thing that’s just for you – a walk, a puzzle, a cup of tea in peace.
- Use support where it’s available – financial benefits, cleaners, or dog walkers can free up precious time.
You don’t have to do it alone
Our Hospice in your Home (HiyH) service is here not only for patients, but for carers too. We offer respite visits so carers can take a break while we sit with their loved one. We provide personal care, overnight support, and reassurance during difficult moments. We sit with the patient and ensure their safety whilst their loved one takes a carer break.
Carers can also access complementary therapies, counselling, and advice from our wellbeing service. These aren’t luxuries – they’re essential tools to help you to stay well.
Support in the wider community
There are many local groups and services that can help reduce isolation, including Age UK, the Carers Centre in Hindley, community link workers that you can access through GP surgeries, walking groups, and men’s support groups such as Andy’s Man Club.
A message to every carer
If you’re feeling tired, stretched thin, or unsure how much longer you can keep going, please know this – it is not a sign of weakness and it’s okay to have some help.
You are not alone. Support is here, and you deserve it just as much as the person you care for.
Note: This article was originally published on the Wigan Today website, on Monday 18 May 2026.