A Wigan man has spoken about the care his wife received from Wigan & Leigh Hospice and how the charity has continued to support him through bereavement.
A life shared
Jim and Victoria* had been together for 49 years, working side by side in hospitality and later teaching the subject. They were, in Jim’s words, “a very, very close couple” who had rarely spent a night apart.
When Victoria was diagnosed with pulmonary fibrosis in 2017, they faced the challenge together. But in December 2022, just two days before Christmas, they were given devastating news: Victoria also had stage four lung cancer.
“We were devastated,” said Jim. “She’d been doing everything right – walking, exercising, following all the advice. She even said she’d been feeling better. But the cancer was aggressive and had already spread.”
As Victoria’s condition worsened, the hospice stepped in to help the couple manage at home. A hospital bed, oxygen tank, and other equipment were delivered to transform their front room into a space where Victoria could be cared for.
“We were on our own with it. No family, just us. But the Hospice Nurse Specialist, Joanne, was the calm in the storm. She answered our questions, managed Victoria’s medication, and never rushed us. Just knowing she was there helped me cope.”
Eventually, it became clear that Victoria needed more support than could be provided at home. Joanne arranged for her to be admitted to the hospice’s Inpatient Unit in early September 2022.
“I’ll never forget Room 21,” said Jim. “I walked in and saw her in a private room with a big TV, and I felt relief. I knew she was being looked after. Everyone took time to explain things to me. I was upset, but I wasn’t alone.”
Staying close, every step of the way
Jim spent most of his time at the hospice, even being offered meals so he could stay close to Victoria. When it looked like she might be well enough to return home, plans were made – but just an hour before discharge, her condition worsened.
“They gave me the choice: hospital or hospice. I asked if hospital would change the outcome, and they were honest – it wouldn’t. I chose to keep her at the hospice, where I knew she’d be cared for.”
One of Jim’s most treasured memories is the moment he was told he could bring their dog, Alfie, to the hospice.
“I was torn – I couldn’t leave Victoria, but Alfie was home alone. When the nurse said, ‘Bring Alfie,’ I couldn’t believe it. Victoria hadn’t seen him in six weeks. She was made up. Alfie sat on her chest, looking at her. It meant the world.”
Victoria died peacefully at the hospice, with Jim and Alfie by her side. Nurse Rachel also held her hand as she passed.
“I can’t thank Rachel enough for how compassionate she was. And the person who told me to bring Alfie – I’ll never forget that kindness.”
Finding support after loss
In the weeks that followed, Jim continued with the counselling he had started while Victoria was still alive.
“At first, I didn’t see the point. But Victoria encouraged me. I think someone at the hospice might have spoken to her about it, and she convinced me. I’m so glad she did.”
Jim found comfort in talking to Craig, his first counsellor, and later Lindsey.
“I have no family, but I had someone to talk to. Someone to tell me I wasn’t going mad – that what I was feeling was normal.”
Six months after Victoria’s death, Jim reached out to the hospice again for more support. He was offered further counselling and invited to attend a bereavement coffee morning.
“At first, we all sat there wondering what we’d let ourselves in for. But once we started talking, it was eye-opening. It wasn’t all doom and gloom – there was laughter. It’s not about death; it’s about the people who survive it.”
A lifeline in shared experience
The bereavement coffee morning became a lifeline for Jim, helping him connect with others who understood his grief.
“Your world shrinks when you lose your partner. But the bereavement coffee mornings opened it back up a bit. You realise you’re not alone, and you’re not going mad. You’re just grieving.”
One fellow attendee even went on to train and open her own bereavement coffee morning, inspired by the support she received.
“These sessions are so therapeutic. They help you breathe again,” added Jim.
*To respect the privacy of those involved, some names have been changed.
You’re not alone
If you’ve lost a loved one who received care from Wigan & Leigh Hospice, you don’t have to face grief alone.
Our bereavement coffee mornings are held bi-monthly at the hospice. It’s a safe, welcoming space where you can meet others who are also navigating loss.
Facilitated by our bereavement team, these informal sessions provide an opportunity to share experiences, find mutual support, and connect with others who understand.
To find out more, or to join a session, please contact the Community Clinical Secretaries on: 01942 525 566, or email: wlhospice.admin@nhs.net.
Published October 2025