Barbara and Alan's story
Barbara and Alan first met one another when they were placed in the same class at school. They were married for sixty-one years before Alan, an Army Veteran, passed away from prostate cancer in March 2024. His wife Barbara shares their story.
“After going to Christie’s at Wigan for Alan’s treatments, the palliative care team put us in touch with the hospice. We first met Craig, who is a Hospice Nurse Specialist, in January 2024. When he walked through the door, I felt like all my worries had gone. He spoke so positively, and his first question was if Alan wanted to pass away in the hospice or at home.
Alan said, ‘Well Craig, I am 84 and I have had a good life. I’d like to stay at home.” And that was that. Craig immediately arranged for carers to come and see Alan three times a day, but Craig himself was always there for us when we needed him.”
Staying at home
“Everybody we have met at the hospice has given me the help and support that I couldn’t have managed without.
When I was having problems with how much medication there was, it was just too much. Craig came to visit one day and I told him that I was struggling, he sat me down and went through all the medication, organised it and explained everything. It was what I needed, somebody to speak to me like that.
I just needed support, and I got it from Craig. I will never ever forget him.
Even when I rang the hospice, the ladies on reception were very helpful and kind, and Craig would always call me back if he wasn’t there. There was no such thing as being forgotten about.
It was peaceful for Alan at the end, and he wasn’t in pain. Craig made sure of that.
Alan was so soft, and he loved being around the family. He wouldn’t bother anybody. He knew that he was poorly, but he never complained. He would even have a laugh and joke with Craig when he visited the house which really helped him.
I think that is one of the reasons why Alan lasted so long, because the support we had was marvellous. We couldn’t have managed without Wigan & Leigh Hospice.”
Saying thank you
“I know if Alan had gone into the hospice, he would have had good care. But it was his choice to stay at home with his family, so that’s what we did.
It’s sad that most people don’t realise how much support the hospice can give until you’re the ones who really need it. It is the best thing since sliced bread!
People think the hospice is like a hospital but it’s not, you’re given help and support. He wasn’t just a number to them; he was Alan.”
A part of the family
“Wigan & Leigh Hospice showed up when we needed them and made us feel like a member of the hospice family.
We’ve always supported the hospice by playing in their lottery and going to their Light for a Light event at Christmas time.
At Alan’s funeral we raised £1,000. It was brilliant, I was over the moon. I’ve even put the thank you message from the hospice in a frame in my living room so that if anybody who has donated visits, they can see it.
We are so grateful to have had the hospice there for Alan because they do such a good job. Whatever I can do for the hospice I will do because I can never repay them.”
Published July 2024.