Hospice in Your Home Team - Wigan & Leigh Hospice
Losing a loved one is arguably the most difficult time in our lives. Whether that be a parent, sibling, son, daughter, grandparent, auntie, uncle, cousin or friend.
Memories are important as they help to honour a loved one who has passed. This is why our team encourages patients and their loved ones to create treasured memories before a loved one passes, so that when the time comes, the people they leave behind have a loving reminder of that person to cherish.
You can write down the things you love about someone and keep them in a memory book, make keyrings or bookmarks with a fingerprint on them, create memory stones with pictures or words on them which can be kept in a special place in their garden or next to a grave. We have volunteers who have made crochet hearts and organza bags with a note ‘pocket hug’ which can offer comfort to people if they are feeling down or can be held close as a reminder of shared love and affection.
But these memories aren’t always made easily, sometimes it takes time. A few years ago, we had a patient who had motor neurone disease. She couldn’t talk at all, so the visits were very complex. She would use a whiteboard to write things down, but as she got more poorly, she began to struggle to write. When we first met her, she was quite distressed, and we soon realised that it was because she had three grown up sons who she wanted to write letters for. She couldn’t ask her family because they would get too upset.
As a team, we decided that on each of our visits, we would help her to write these letters. If she felt up for it, we would try some writing but if she wasn’t having a good day we would wait until the next visit. We left the decision completely up to her, for whenever she felt up to it.
It took a couple of months, but we wrote all four letters, and kept them safe until she passed away. When the time came, we took the letters to her family. They were very sad but so grateful. They didn’t know she was planning to do anything like that.
We understand that whilst some people take comfort in making memories, it is not for everyone. As a team, we aim to do all that we can to help support our patients and their loved ones during the most difficult and challenging time in their lives.
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