Craig Alker - Counsellor, Wigan & Leigh Hospice
It is often believed that children are resilient when they are bereaved. However, much like adults, children benefit from support, information, and guidance to understand their experience of grief.
Whilst our instinct is to protect children from the hurt and sadness their loss will bring, it is important to help them know that what they are feeling is normal and OK, to give them the opportunity to express their emotions.
At Wigan & Leigh Hospice, our care for families begins before a person dies and then continues into bereavement supporting those people close to our patients. Keeping children included with what is happening during the illness of a loved one can make a big difference to how they will experience their grief when that person has died. Good preparation for what is coming can help with what they will experience later. Without support and reassurance, children may otherwise find the emotions they are experiencing difficult and confusing and begin to suppress their feelings.
Child Bereavement UK and Winstons Wish are charities that can provide support to families with children who have experienced a loss. They offer lots of useful information and resources on their websites.
The Hospice teams, including nurses and hospice counsellors like myself, provide guidance and support for our patients’ families. We spend time with parents or other family members, sharing tools that can be used to support children within their family with difficult conversations. In addition, we may also work with a parent and child together.
Through this support, children can gain a sense of reassurance about what they are feeling and are able to ask questions about things they may be keeping to themselves. This can then build their resilience in coping with a difficult period in their life.
In August, the Wigan & Leigh Hospice team will be hosting our first ‘A Day to Remember’ session in collaboration with Child Bereavement UK for children aged 5 to 12 years old who are bereaved following the death of a family member under the care of the hospice.
Children will be able to visit the hospice, along with a family member, to spend time with other children who have also experienced the death of a loved one in their family. The day will include various games and creative activities where they can share their feelings, and what they remember about their special person who has died.
It is important that children have opportunities to talk about their loved one who has died, to continue to remember them and have ways to stay connected with those memories.
Click here to find out more information on our bereavement support services.